halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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