That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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