I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
