i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
