im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
