so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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