I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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