Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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