You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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