I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
