So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize