So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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