So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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