VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
