What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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