Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
