You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I bet he comes in French.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Come see our sink grown plant.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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