I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
