Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
