Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
