I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize