Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
my poor anus
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
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