I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
