i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize