come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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