Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
