Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
