I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
