So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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