I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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