Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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