How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize