just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
