whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Say something about gay babies.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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