the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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