i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
