yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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