Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
