Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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