Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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