I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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