is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
