i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
