That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
