So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
