i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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