Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
