Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
