how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
