The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
