He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
