He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
this boner is exhausting
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
