If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
