They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
