Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
