I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
