i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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