You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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