Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
