the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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