im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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