If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
