Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
