Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Sober January is a disaster.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
