NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
