I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
